{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"68765440","dateCreated":"1405723536","smartDate":"Jul 18, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"elisabethallen8","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/elisabethallen8","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68765440"},"dateDigested":1532428276,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Final cut","description":"The first paragraph starts this piece off just right. Over all this piece has great potential. Please keep writing. You have a talent in telling stories. <br \/>\n<br \/>\nSide note: Is there 10 secs or 40 sec left in the game? It's either an inconsistency or I'm reading your piece incorrectly.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"68760512","dateCreated":"1405648980","smartDate":"Jul 17, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"PasqualeDeMatteo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/PasqualeDeMatteo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68760512"},"dateDigested":1532428276,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Rought Draft 3","description":"The sights and sounds of the game come through beautifully here.  I can really feel the tension in the gym and the anxiety on the bench.  Keep working with those details of what it felt like to be on the bench at the end and to be pushed past the point of exhaustion.  Those are great small details that make the story and give a voice to the piece.  I also love the addition of the consequences of the loss and how it drives you to keep working and improving your game.  That tenacity will serve you very well in writing.  I'm really enjoying the progression of you work.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74077326","body":"I really liked the addition of how this experience motivated you to change, also. That step make it even more personal. Thanks for writing!","dateCreated":"1405682280","smartDate":"Jul 18, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68755500","dateCreated":"1405603039","smartDate":"Jul 17, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"georgine12","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/georgine12","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68755500"},"dateDigested":1532428276,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"draft three","description":"I really liked how you gave tons of details about the game. I felt like was on the court with you.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74071432","body":"I think you made some very good changes for this draft. The first paragraph is much clearer, and I like the opening line about the crowd's chatter combining into one buzz. That description just hits the nail on the head. <br \/>\n<br \/>\nI like the self-reflection that goes on in the last paragraph. There are a lot of adults out there who could stand to learn that lesson. Looking at our own actions when a situation doesn't go our way is so difficult. Your response shows exactly how and why the game was a turning point for you, and it also shows a high level of maturity.","dateCreated":"1405624659","smartDate":"Jul 17, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"mbacorn","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mbacorn","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68752910","dateCreated":"1405556765","smartDate":"Jul 16, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"PasqualeDeMatteo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/PasqualeDeMatteo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68752910"},"dateDigested":1532428276,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Six Room Poem","description":"I love your use of personification to bring the story to life in this piece.  You've done a great job sucking me into this world with that imagery.  Keep working on those details that bring the elements to life.  I can tell from your word choices that you're seeing even more than you've described.  Show it to us. I want to read more.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74059970","body":"I do love this poem, too. The tree kneeling was my very favorite part, although all of the life in the poem was beautiful.","dateCreated":"1405560217","smartDate":"Jul 16, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74082750","body":"&quot;the sun winks jovially<br \/>\nit leaves warm kisses on my face<br \/>\nand twinkles through the leaves&quot;--- my most favorite part! <br \/>\nYour piece is wonderful just the way it is.","dateCreated":"1405722967","smartDate":"Jul 18, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"elisabethallen8","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/elisabethallen8","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68742782","dateCreated":"1405451313","smartDate":"Jul 15, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"mbacorn","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mbacorn","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68742782"},"dateDigested":1532428276,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Essay","description":"I like how the reader shares your experience at the start of the essay - the beginning of the game, adrenaline pumping, the world recedes to the size of the court. Then, as you step to the bench and sit down, the reader shares in your dawning awareness of what's going on around you. <br \/>\nI want to challenge you to think about how the paragraph structure can have this same effect. Readers move more quickly through short paragraphs. When does time move quickly during the game, and when does it move slowly?","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74047908","body":"Sule, the details are awesome, and the way you show us what is going on around you and even in you is really clear. You completely threw me back to my basketball days in high school because the details are so vivid. And the &quot;deflated balloons&quot; part was just one of my favorite images you created. Thanks and have fun with it!","dateCreated":"1405487781","smartDate":"Jul 15, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74058370","body":"Good stuff. I like the progressive additions that you've made. I agree about the details and images. The squeak of shoes, the sound of the buzzer, the quick cheer, the deflated teammates. It is easy to engage my senses as I read the piece. I'm just a bit confused about the opening paragraph though: Is the game about to start, or is the 4th quarter about to start?","dateCreated":"1405551391","smartDate":"Jul 16, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"mbacorn","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mbacorn","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68742614","dateCreated":"1405450000","smartDate":"Jul 15, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"katieharrison1","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/katieharrison1","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1405257025\/katieharrison1-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68742614"},"dateDigested":1532428277,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Rumor","description":"I love this camera piece. Great writing- very much the start of a longer story. Isn't it great to be inspired by the little things around us? It's good that your eyes are open to catch Rumor. I want to hear more about her story. It sounds like a good opener for a YA novel?","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"68737690","dateCreated":"1405390760","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"PasqualeDeMatteo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/PasqualeDeMatteo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68737690"},"dateDigested":1532428277,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"camera","description":"You've done a great job here capturing a scene with your camera and letting the reader know what is happening.  It could be even more engaging with more details of sights, sounds and smells.  You've drawn me in with the character and now I want to know more.  Nice work.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74031444","body":"You definitely nailed this piece. You used visuals and imagery to set a great scene for the audience. I agree with Pasquale that more detail would give the piece an edge. Keep up with the good work. I think you have the makings to be a great writer.","dateCreated":"1405392303","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"elisabethallen8","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/elisabethallen8","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68734202","dateCreated":"1405361981","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68734202"},"dateDigested":1532428277,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Camera Piece","description":"You nailed this! I have a very clear image in my head of the scene. Awesome! Have you ever watched Gilmore Girls? If so, that is the gazebo, I'm picturing.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"68732648","dateCreated":"1405349578","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"stillerman","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/stillerman","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68732648"},"dateDigested":1532428277,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Rambling Autobiography","description":"I know you are not done yet, but I like how you've started. The image of two kids walking down the hall at night trying not to make any noise is one we can all relate to. Keep sharing those moments and build up to your point. You are off to a great start.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74024270","body":"really good details I could imagine the girl as i read it.","dateCreated":"1405353742","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"YWAMS_Rachna","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/YWAMS_Rachna","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74025092","body":"I agree that this is a great start. You pull us in right away, wondering what is happening in the hall, and then explain that it is you and your friend. As soon as you labeled it as a sleepover, I brought my past experiences to the piece to see where your imagery met with my own. It was a very effective tool to draw me in and make your piece even more relatable. Very nice.","dateCreated":"1405359499","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74028356","body":"You describe your setting well. Words like thick darkness, stumble, every noise deafeningly loud - these specifics allow the reader to experience what you experienced. Sensory details show the sense of it without you having to tell the reader what it was like. You left me hanging though! What were y'all gonna do\/eat in the kitchen? I hope you finish it.","dateCreated":"1405376002","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"mbacorn","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mbacorn","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"68732394","dateCreated":"1405347648","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"ReyDye","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/ReyDye","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/writelikeacamera.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/68732394"},"dateDigested":1532428278,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Six Word Memoir","description":"It's so cool how you captured in both words and image what so many are thinking.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"74025042","body":"Great combination of words, image, and movement! And I hear ya - I love food, too!","dateCreated":"1405359155","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74031318","body":"Oh yeah, the image demands attention! Love the humor!","dateCreated":"1405391962","smartDate":"Jul 14, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"elisabethallen8","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/elisabethallen8","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}},{"id":"74060084","body":"I like the change. The pizza\/food one was fun, but this one is strong, like the person in the essay. I wonder how much the focusing in on the details of the other one plays into the change of this one. It is very cool to observe the unfolding of all of your stories and how the more you write, the more you become. Very cool. Thanks.","dateCreated":"1405560687","smartDate":"Jul 16, 2014","userCreated":{"username":"Ms.WendyV","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Ms.WendyV","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}